Well...what are you waiting for, chicken?

We have a friend named Aaron. He has taught us all a very valuable lesson that I would like to spend some time talking about today. For you to fully understand and appreciate this story, I need to take a few moments for you to get to know Aaron. Aaron is a simple man, firm with his hand shake and quick with a joke. He is not a Matthew McCaunahay or a Brad Pitt. Aaron is intelligent, diverse in his conversations and remarkable in his speech. He knows just about everyone. His sense of confidence follows him in the room and shows in the way he dresses. Aaron is the new Patrick Dempsey maybe with a little less McDreamy. He is connected and it is by no accident. He is sincere and is comfortable in who he is. Aaron is a good friend.

This all started when we were in college. Things happened in the usual way and life was fun and full of new adventures. For most of us, when the time came to invite a young lady to spring formal or fall festival, we squirmed around and fretted over who to ask until we finally found ourselves in that awkward moment as we stumbled over our words and managed to get a date. But not Aaron. He was the first to have a date and she was always the hottest girl on campus...although he never managed to go out with the dark-haired freshman goddess. His success in landing these dates was flawless and became the talking point of many occasions. Today not much has changed except perhaps for the increased sense of respect that we all hold for Aaron. His approach seems effortless and his poise is charismatic. He is the envy of us all and we are left wondering...what is his secret?

We asked Aaron recently what force drove him to walk up to a young lady and strike up a conversation like he had been building up the nerve to do it all evening long. His answer was simple...fear. Fear is what motivates him to step out on the line, to face rejection, and to savor the successes. But it is not the fear of stepping out there; rather, it is the fear of never knowing. It is the fear of never meeting that person who, for a moment, has captured your attention and caused your heart to race. It is in that moment, Aaron says, when he asks himself which of the two fears is greater. Even now, as I sit here and think about that cute girl, I am recounting all the reasons why I should not ask her out. If only I could learn to fear the fear. I think Aaron has taught us all a valuable lesson in life, whether it be in love or business. Seize the moment and aim for greatness. Otherwise, you will just be left wondering...what if?

Don't take yourself too seriously

It occurred to me recently that perhaps the loss of compassion in America is due to many of us taking ourselves too seriously. My community, and I am sure yours is very similar, is made up of such a diverse spread of socio-economic groups. It is most easily recognized in community events such as a 4th of July firework celebration or ... church. I was sitting in my Sunday school class recently and listened to my different friends lift up praises or prayer requests. A man who had just started attending with his fiance raised his hand and shared a concern that was disturbing and yet very predictable to me. This couple is obviously very different than the average member at my church in the way that they dress, speaking in a very factual sense. He shared that while our class had given a very warm welcome to them, he felt isolated and rejected as he walked through the church corridors. Isn't it supposed to be the opposite of this in church? It is stories like this that hit me in the chest and make me realize how very real the divisions in our society can be.

As I find myself out networking in the professional world, I run across all types of people. Because of my line of work, I hit the full spectrum of these types. This exposure has really challenged me lately and I find myself questioning what it really takes to be an effective leader in my community. I see people running in their little circles and like all circles, they point inward at themselves. This is not true of all people because I know some very generous and caring people. But these are certainly the exception rather than the norm.

Why talk about this you may ask. This is by no means a new reality. It's just that I look around at all of the potential that my community holds for making a difference in people's lives, and it is often soured by inward focus and snobbery. I think we sometimes take ourselves too seriously. My problems are just as real as yours. My challenges are no more difficult than yours. They are just different. We all put our pants on one leg at a time and we all cry when we are hurt.

Humility is something we could all use more of. Whether you are a CEO, a director, a project manager, an assembly line worker, or a fry cook...are you taking yourself too seriously? Do you stop to hold the door for the person behind you, or are you above that? Do you look up to smile at the person riding the elevator with you? Do you ring the Salvation Army bell at Christmas, or would Roger from the club laugh if he saw you? I could do better at reaching out to people and letting compassion influence more of my actions. How about you?

Top 10 dates in downtown 417

Summer is here and it is the season for creative dating. So drop the remote, put on your sense of adventure, and get out there. Here are my top 10 choices for dates in downtown 417. Feel free to improvise a little and make them your own. Remember, putting a little thought in your date shows him/her that you really care.

#10. Dinner and a movie
I know it may sound a little conventional, but not when you're downtown. Start off with dinner at the Brewco. It's a fun environment and very casual. Sit upstairs or out on the patio if the weather is nice. Then walk down the street to The Moxie to catch a flic. The movie choices are a little unconventional and the theatre will definitely be a talking point. It will set this date apart from your typical run to the Olive Garden and the cinema 16. Parking is available all along Walnut street and The Moxie's website gives you some helpful parking tips. Total price: $30 for dinner and $16 for the movie.

#9. For the music lover

Up for a night of good conversation under dimly lit tables and great background music? Then this date is perfect for you. At Bijan's Sea and Grille you can turn up the charm and delight your senses with great tastes, great sounds, and great sights...including the knock-out sitting across from you! This date will challenge the conversation for first dates but is a favorite for many regulars. If the conversation starts to slide then step around the corner for some entertainment at the Dueling Piano Bar. This is best in the summer when the college crowds have faded. Grab a spot near the front and make yourself a part of the show. Total price: $60 for dinner and $20 for cover and drinks.

#8. A downtown drive-in

This can be done as a family or just the two of you. Dust your picnic basket off and fill it will your best picnic foods. Don't forget that bottle of wine that you have saved for a special occasion purchased from Vino 100. A good picnic blanket is one of the best investments you can make for such occasions. My personal favorite is my Mambe waterproof blanket. Head over to Jordan Valley Park located between Hammons Field and the Ice Park. There are plenty of spots to choose from whether it be out in the open or secluded on one of the hill sides. I would highly recommend getting online and finding the closest free public parking lot, otherwise you'll be stuck paying $5 to park near the ball field. Follow the trail just north of the Ice Park over to Jefferson Avenue which is about two blocks away. On Friday and Saturday nights in the summer you can enjoy a contemporary version of a drive-in movie at Founders Park. Movies start at sundown and complementary tickets can be picked up before hand. Otherwise it is $5 at the door. Go to http://www.itsalldown.com/ for more information. The viewing area is a collection of concrete platforms so keep that picnic blanket with you. You will enjoy snuggling under the stars as you impress your date with ingenuity and effort. Total price: $15 grocery bill.

#7. Tent Theatre

If you like theatre then you'll love the quaint feel of Missouri State's Tent Theatre. Most performances begin at 8:15 pm so you'll have time to grab a bite to eat before the show. I recommend Garbo's on National between Walnut Street and St. Louis Street. There is plenty of seating outside if the weather is nice. Total price: $30 for dinner and $26 for the show.

#6. The Flame

Go ahead...get dressed up and put on your best perfume. But if snappy-casual is not your style then worry not - this stylish downtown eatery is hip enough for jeans (but leave your t-shirt that says "You might be a redneck if..." at home). Perhaps the best steak in town, don't leave without ordering the filet. You will not be disappointed. If the conversation is going great then keep it going by walking across the street for after dinner drinks at Bijan's Under the Tower, or for a fruit alternative, grab a healthy treat at Planet Smoothie just across from the YMCA. Total price: $80 for dinner and $20 for drinks.

#5. Pizza and Mud

Who can pass up pizza? And no, not that kind of mud...the perfect cup o' java at the Mudhouse. Some of my personal favorite in town are the cheesy pies at South Avenue Pizza located on, what else, South Avenue. Just a few doors down is the charming caffeine hang-out pressed with Wi-Fi and all. This casual evening is perfect for spending time just getting to know each other. Total price: $20 for pizza and $10 for the mud.

#4. He's all hands
What a better way to exercise those fingers than finger foods and video games. Downtown's new Tapas and Wine Bar, Ophelia's, is a excellent change of pace and will bring you back for more. Just around the corner is a walk down memory lane to 1984. For just a $5 cover, you can have hours of unlimited play on some of the greats of arcade history. Pac Man is even projected on a big screen. Flirt a little by challenging her to a game. Total price: $40 for dinner and $10 for games.

#3. First Friday

The first Friday of each month, the Urban Districts Alliance hosts the First Friday Art Walk. This is a great opportunity to get familiar with downtown by walking through all the exhibits. As you walk hold her hand. She will appreciate the attention. Stop in for dinner at Hickok's Steakhouse for a run-in with the wild west. Total price: $45 for dinner.

#2. Take me out to the ball game

How can you beat America's great past time? This sports-themed date can be so much more than Sports Center or Sunday afternoon football. Start the night off at Historic Walnut Street's famed sports bar and grill, Ebbets Field. You don't have to be a Brooklyn Dodgers fan to enjoy this great Springfield eatery. Wear your red and be prepared to rub elbows with the Springfield fans next to you...what a better way to test out your date's social skills. Try the chips and salsa (some of the best in town). After dinner, walk three blocks to Hammons Field to cheer on the Redbirds. I would recommend getting chair backs but if you bring a good blanket then general admission will be just as good. Treat yourself to some peanuts or crackerjacks and don't forget to hug Louie. Total price: $25 for dinner and $10 for general admission or $24 for dugout boxes. If you don't mind the walk, then parking can be free.

#1. Laughs and lamb chops
And my number one choice...nothing makes a date more memorable than a night full of tear-jerking, foot-stomping, knee-slapping, pee-your-pants laughter. Jeff Jenkins and the crew at The Skinny Improv are sure not to disappoint. This downtown comedy show is one of a kind and is taking the city by storm. Show times are 7:30 and 10:00. Just down the street you can enjoy some great Greek cuisine at Riad. Get a seat out on the patio and don't be afraid to try something different. Talk to your waiter to get tips on what to try. Free public parking is just one block north of the restaurant. Total price: $35 for dinner and $24 for the show.